Low self esteem is not only dangerous for your health but it is also bad for your relationship. Self esteem plays a very important role on how you behave in a relationship and if you are suffering from low self esteem then it is more likely that the major cause of problems in your relationship is caused by your low self esteem. Improving your low self esteem will not only benefit your self but it will also do good for your relationships.
The way we feel that other people accept us, plays a crucial role in our interpersonal and social relations. When you are married or in a relationship, these feelings have even greater influence on the quality and evolution of the marital relationship and therefore family life.
When you marry, you promise love and devotion for your entire life both in good and bad moments. But how do we experience these commitments in everyday life? Dow we feel that the other person loves us and accepts us no matter how good is the performance that we have in our professional life?
Understanding what happens to each of us might help us understand how we see others and what we expect from them. So we will be better able to recognize the influence of various negative or positive events in our relationships and to prevent undue complications that occur because of our own experiences and perceptions.
The mysteries of interpersonal relations are progressing in real time in life, and this makes them difficult to discover. But the investigations are ongoing in this area and they are very interesting for the quality and the assurance of good quality long-term relationships.
Recently scientists from three universities (Buffalo, British Columbia and Edwardsville) evaluated 150 couples, to analyze how professional successes or failures affect the perception the couple had regarding the acceptance and love from each other.
This research came to the following conclusions:
Low Self Esteem and relationships
- People who have low self-esteem, believe that the acceptance and love from their partner, depends on the quality of their professional results
- The Self-esteem of a person was found to be the key factor to understand how people accept or support their partners
- Men and women with low self-esteem, feel that the love they had from their partners depended on their daily professional successes. On days they had success, they felt that their partners loved them more
- Women with low self-esteem, felt that they had a lower level of acceptance and love from their partner when they were failures at school or at work.
- In contrast, men and women with a high degree of self esteem, felt that the love of their partner was unconditional. It was also observed that, women with a high degree of self-esteem, even on days that they had failures in their work, felt that their partners loved them the most.
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These findings, suggest that people with low self-esteem, is possible to experience negative feelings and situations because of their personal perceptions that do not correspond to reality. This means that if they have a failure they also feel that the love of their partner is affected from their failure, something that does not correspond to reality.
Such a situation can damage relationships because people with low self-esteem see their partners in a more negative or even worse way than what the truth is.
In practice this means that people with low self-esteem, can benefit from special assistance from psychologists in order to learn to recognize these situations and mental experiences. They can also follow some self help steps to improve their low self esteem as explained in our article "Improve your low self esteem".
The corrective action to be taken will be able to protect many marital relations from unjustified and unnecessary problems and misunderstandings.
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